For reasons I don't really want to ponder, I've been scoring lots of Laffy Taffy recently.  I have fond memories of reading jokes off the inside of the old Laffy Taffy wrappers.  Even though they now put the jokes on the outside of the wrappers, and the pieces have changed shape, they're still kinda fun, most of the time.

However, I found that I strongly disagree withe one of their answers...

Q: Which President was the biggest ham?

A: Abra-HAM (Lincoln, of course!)

Setting aside the awkward handling of "Lincoln, of course!" (is there any other US president named Abraham?), the real issue with this joke is that there is another at least equally valid - and I would argue, better - version:

Q: Which Founding Father was the biggest ham?

A: Alexander HAM-ilton

First off, this one scans without needing any parentheticals (though that might have worked for Lincoln too, it's hard to say).  Second, the emphasis of HAM as a first syllable works better, punch-line wise, at least I think so.

But most important, if my dim memories of early US history are anywhere near correct, the fact is Alexander Hamilton was much more of a ham than Lincoln ever was.  Lincoln was moody, depressed, hardly likely to cut up or act out (except for that whole thing about freeing the slaves, which some argue wasn't really his intent anyway...).  Hamilton was kind of a wild man, above and beyond - I mean, who else in US History has blatantly try to manipulate the Electoral College in multiple elections (1796 and 1800) , ran campaigns against both parties running for President (in 1800),  and then has a duel with a sitting Vice President?

(Ah, Aaron Burr...and you thought Dick Cheney was the first Vice President to shoot someone while in office!*)

Anyway, my point is, with all due respect to Jessie E. of Knoxville, TN, I think that Laffy Taffy should change this joke.



*  Hey, you know, actually - except for the roles being reversed, I'd have to say that there is someone else who could rival Alexander Hamilton - Dick Cheney himself!  Mucking with electoral college, check; rabid military delusions, check; shooting a rival, check...

No wonder Dick Cheney seems to think the Vice Presidency has all this freedom, ignoring two centuries of tradition and precedent - he's living in 1800!

Tags: better jokes, duels, electoral college, hamilton, laffy taffy, lincoln, rabid delusional militarism
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